9/27/12

Today I edited the scene that I wrote for yesterday's blog post.

FLASHBACK

INT-KRATNER FAMILY HOME- LIVING ROOM- NIGHT

Austin's doorbell rings. He opens the door revealing a crying Dani, who is dressed like she was just at a party. She runs in and hugs him.

DANI: . I should have listened to you.

TRANSITION

Dani and Austin are sitting on Austin's couch. He puts a blanket around her shoulders and hands her a mug. He sits down next to her.

DANI: I need to learn not to put myself in awkward situations.

AUSTIN: That's hardly what that was. (Pause) What happened?

DANI: I....

Dani stops

AUSTIN: Dani? What happened?

DANI: Jimmy was there. He was drinking. 

AUSTIN: And you stayed far away from him, Right?

Dani doesn't respond.

AUSTIN: Answer me.

DANI: He wanted to dance. I didn't see any harm in it.

AUSTIN: So that's it? You made a fool out of yourself attempting to dance?

DANI: No! 

AUSTIN: Then what got you so worked up?

DANI: He told me he wanted to talk about what happened between us. So we went upstars and..

AUSTIN: Dani. You didnt.

DANI: Calm down. Almost nothing happened.

AUSTIN: Almost?

DANI: I knew he was way to drunk to mean anything that he said, but he was really close to me and I guess in the heat of the moment I didn't really know what was true, so we kissed. The kissing turned into making out and then he tried getting me to have sex with him but I didn't do it. I kicked him square in the balls and I got out of there.

AUSTIN: Well good. He's had it coming.

DANI: Yeah I know. I just really wanted to believe that he was sober when he was talking to me.

AUSTIN: Well he wasn't. He was a drunken mess and felt powerful in the heat of the moment. 

END OF FLASHBACK

Reflection: I think I deserve a 100 for the day. I wasn't satisfied with where I left off yesterday. The dialogue just seemed extremely unrealistic to me, and sounded cheesy. I am much happier with the changes I made today, which was basically the whole chunk of the scene. I feel comfortable continuing the scene after tonight's changes.