3/17/14-3/21/14

This was the first real week of mainstage work, and if I do say so myself, I made a lot of progress.


We went over the movement piece that Imani and I came up with, and the notes I got back on it were helpful for coming up with other ideas.

The problem with the piece is that I am in the head of the media's perspective of private and catholic schools, which means the piece will not work. However, in discussion with the class, some things stuck out to me, which I wrote in my notebook

 but is probably not very legible so i'll type them as well.

-Who "They" is in Teenagers
-We dress ourselves in uniforms as well in the public school system
-The media's perception of education
-High school isn't a social exercise
-The media's perception of privilege in education


The privilege in education in conjunction with the media's perception of education inspired me to write a short play that I began writing this week called "The Life and Times of Bill Gates and Joey Smith"

Mission: To expose how the media's portrayal of education or lack of eduction resonates with the youth of today in a negative light  

THE LIFE AND TIMES OF BILL GATES AND JOEY SMITH

Lights up. Two men stand side by side. To the right is a clearly older Bill Gates, creator of the Microsoft Corporation. To the left stands Joey Smith, a young college student.

BILL

Bill Gates. Age 58. American business magnate, investor, programmer, inventor and philanthropist.

JOEY

Joey Smith. Age 20. College student.

BILL

I come from a long line of wealthy entrepreneurs.

JOEY

I come from a long line of... real estate agents.  

BILL

I dropped out of Harvard University in 1975.

JOEY

I am considering dropping out of Rutgers University in 2014

BILL

After dropping out of college, I reunited with my childhood friend Paul Allen and started the Microsoft Corporation

JOEY

After dropping out of college, i’ll re-unite with my high school buddies and see what they’re up to.

BILL

I was financially okay after dropping out.

JOEY

I’ll lose most of my savings after dropping out.

BILL

I didn’t have to earn back the money I lost.

JOEY

I’ll have to earn back the money I lost

BILL

I didn’t need college to be a success

JOEY

I don’t need college to be a success

BILL looks over to JOEY

BILL

Is that so?

JOEY

Are you talking to me?

BILL

No, I’m talking to the guy standing next to you. What do you think?

JOEY

No need for the sarcasm buddy.

BILL

It’s what I do. (Pause) So you’re thinking about dropping out?

JOEY

Yeah, and that concerns you why?

BILL

It doesnt. I just don’t understand why.

JOEY

The college thing doesn’t really seem to be for me that’s all.

BILL

So what does seem for you? What are you going to do with your life after you drop out?

JOEY

Who knows? Maybe i’ll travel the world or start my own company like you did.

BILL laughs.

JOEY

What’s so funny?

BILL

You said you come from a family of real estate agents, correct?

JOEY

Yeah.

BILL

Well how are your real estate parent’s going to pay for your trip around the world or loan you all of that money to set up a company?

JOEY

You did it.

BILL

Yes, because I come from a lot of money. I couldn’t have done any of that with a middle class family.

JOEY

So i’ll get a job.

BILL

But you didn’t finish college. So whatever you get hired to do won’t pay too well, and that slightly above minimum wage job won’t give you any time to do any of the things you said.

TO BE CONTINUED……

I also finally got my set design onto paper

It is very simple now and I will elaborate more on it once I get notes, but basically the boards would function as projection screens. They would be on wheels, so that they can move depending on how they would function in each small section of the show. The small detail ideas that I had were to have the edges painted with green or black chalkboard paint, and have different math equations, English terms, and science concepts in glow in the dark paint, so that the audience knows that they are chalkboards and that the piece is on education.





I also wrote the first draft of my monologue.

 I know that there is a problem with my education. I don't know if I can exactly put it into the right words, and I may just sound like an ignorant teenager as a go along with the rest of this soc, or rant, but I'm being asked to write about my education and this is the only way I know how. Anyway, back on topic. 

My education has holes. I've known that since the 6th grade when I was clearly lacking basic math skills, and the only solution the school could offer me was putting me in an extra standardized test prep class. 

That's a problem. I know that Getting a tutor, sitting down with a math book and going over lessons I don't understand seems to be the only solution. I know what I have to do and I am slowly beginning to do that. But why? I ask myself that question everyday. And here's my answer: I need to do well on the SATs. That's why I want to do better in math.

And this is where I'm going to sound like an ignorant teenager. My point may not be valid, but it's MY point and I can't change that. Not right now.

I want to do better in math for my SATs so I can pass a certain bar to get into a good arts school. I'm not trying to do better in math because I value my education. To be completely honest, I don't know what it means to value my education because I have never been put in a situation where I was without an education. That sounds horrible to say, and I will probably get a lot of crap for saying that, but as a middle class, fairly privileged, American high school student, what does it mean to me to value my education? 

I have the utmost admiration and respect for children in other countries who fight for their education, I mean hey, Malala is one of my heroes. However, I will never be Malala. I will never know what it is like to have my education taken away from me, and to be threatened to want to get an education, and even though I do believe that a passion for education should be planted into every child's head in the womb, it isn't. It never will be. I don't think we should be blamed for that disservice. Again, I'm not really sure who to blame for that. Blaming can only do one thing: It can change the perspective of education for the generations that come after mine. 

Right or wrong, this is my perspective on education as an American High School Student 

2/10/14-2/14/14

This week was short, but I did manage to brainstorm a lot of ideas in the short amount of time that we had.

Monday- I put random ideas that I had and want to incorporate in a list. This is what I wrote down

-Film theatre collab
-"We should be great full and value our education because kids in other places would kill for that."
-How can you fully appreciate something that's given to you when you have no clue what it's like to live without it?
-One woman piece
-Projections
-Malala. Fully appreciate and admirer her, but we will never know what it feels like to be in that position.
-It isn't our fault
-Music
-Isolation, but people on the screen to represent how someone is always watching
-Songs I was inspired by: Counting Stars by One Republic, Fat Lip by Sum 41, Teenagers by My Chemical Romance

I also did a preliminary sketch of a set idea:

Tuesday- Imani and I came up with a dance theatre concept

The piece is set to this song, but would obviously have to be changed if we decided to move forward with it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6EQAOmJrbw

The setting is a private/catholic school classroom. The metaphor for the entire piece is that children in a private school setting are being taught to be carbon copies of a certain standard of "perfection"

One student tries to break away from this idea by getting a tattoo. Another student sees it, and by the end of the piece reveals it to the class.

I sent this entire idea along with videos to you in an email earlier in the week. (If you have any questions I can fwd you the email again)



Wednesday- I came up with another possible idea that could turn into something, however i'm not sure how I will communicate it just yet.

I want to create a piece that discusses the effects that teenage hormones have in education.

My dilemma here is this: I don't want it to read as "I can't learn because i'm a horny teenager." And I think that if this idea gets taken in a certain direction, it can easily turn into that.

I thought of another movement/theater based piece that involves a teenage girl sitting at a desk listening to a lecture, however her thoughts and the people around her are getting in the way of her focus.

I would want to use projections to display her inner thoughts and struggles, as well as other people around her.

It needs more thought, because I don't want everything else to shy away from the actual message I am trying to convey, however i'm a little stuck right now.

1/13/14-1/17/13

This week was a good week in terms of getting things done for Girl Be Heard. I had an audition for them this week for the touring company (which I sadly did not get into because of my age) But I still had work to do in preparation for the audition as well as workshops which started up again today after the winter break.

The interesting thing about this week was the way I ended up diving my time.

Monday was spent editing/finalizing/memorizing the 2 pieces I was required to memorize and perform at my audition for the touring company (which I attached in last weeks blogs.)

Tuesday, and this is where it gets interesting, was my audition day, so that took place of my blogs, however, I ended up writing an entirely new piece for my audition an hour before my call time. It was done on the back of an old homework assignment in a cafe in the Village (YAY SO ARTSY)

This has nothing to do with my grade but I feel the need to talk about the artsy situation that happened that day and how it was the first time I genuinely felt like an artist.

SO

Girl Be Heard is all about storytelling for the most part. That's what we perform. No limitations, no censorship, ectc. The only thing you get criticized about is the writing quality of the story, not the actual story because everything is personal.

SO

Something, which can kind of be inferred if you can read it, occurred in school that day which took up my entire mind set (the day of my audition, yay). So you can imagine how hard it was to focus.

I had 2 pieces I had ready to perform that day, memorized and all. One about double standards (which I had written specifically for the audition), and an edited version of my GBH Unplugged piece I had just performed about a month ago.

As I sat in this Cafe with Beckie after her audition, the more I couldn't stop thinking about this issue. The first thing they tell you in Girl Be Heard is to write whats going on now with you. GBH's specific flavor is the storytelling of the everyday lives of girls. So I made the rash decision to write down exactly what I was passionate about at that moment, and go for it. It took place of the double standards piece, which I loved, but was not as passionate about in the moment.

Turns out, or at least from my perspective, I kicked ass in the audition. Unfortunately my ass kicking couldn't change the fact that i'm 16, which legally makes it hard for them to take me on tour, but this was the first time I gave it my complete all in an audition. My confidence was at an all time high walking in there and walking out.

END OF MY STEREOTYPICAL TEENAGE ARTSY BREAKTHROUGH KICK ASS IN MY OWN MIND AUDITION

I spend Wends. finishing my play for Lisa, Welcome To Eternity, which I can also use to submit for a future Girl Be Heard show.

I ended up slacking Thursday, so i'm going to use that added hour that I spent writing my last minute piece for my audition for this day, since I didn't technically have to blog that day.

And Friday. Well, I spent Friday planning out how this blog post was going to go. It probably isn't that exciting reading on a blog, but for me (and I could be completely off here) It was that stereotypical artist thing I always hear about from older kids.

ANYWAY
There's my blog.

If you have made it to the end of this post, I am so sorry.

1/6/14-1/10/14

This week, I got the news that there is an open call for current Girl Be Heard company members to audition for the touring company. The touring company is the on call team that gets to perform their pieces upon request of different colleges, conventions, and events across the nation and possibly globally within the next year or so.

I sent over an email expressing my interest, and here is my official response

Hello Briana -

Thank you for your interest in Girl Be Heard's Touring Company. You have been selected to audition for an audition. To guarantee your space, please respond back to this message within 24 hours. If we do not hear from you we will give your space to someone else.

 

We have schedule your audition date and time for: 

 

TUESDAY, JANUARY 14th at 7:05 pm 

 

at

 

One Potata Productions

80 E. 11th Street - Suite 301A

New York, NY, 10003

 

For this audition we ask you to bring:

- Two contrasting pieces of work you've written, memorized and performance ready. These can be contrasting in themes, tone or content. These can be pieces you've previously written for Girl Be Heard shows. 

- A hard copy of your headshot (or photo) and a resume

 

Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have any questions. 

 

Best,

Ashley

From Monday-Wednesday, I wrote an entirely new piece based on a specific prompt the directed suggested I write while workshops were still going on: 

Doube Standard

He can do it, why can’t I?

He can wear a tanktop to school but when I do it i’m “showing too much skin.”

He can have a new girlfriend every week, but when I go from one boyfriend to the next i’m “a slut”

He can brag about the newest girl he’s banged but word gets out that i’ve slept with someone i'm “easy”

He can talk about how hot Kate Upton is, but god forbid I mention my crush on Adam Levine and i’m “degrading my place as a feminist”

He can dress as if he just walked out of bed without a question but if I decide i don't want to wear eyeliner that day, i’m “sick” or something else is wrong.

He can curse like a sailor, but I can’t drop the F bomb because “it isn’t lady like.”

He doesn’t have to be mad for any specific reason, but when i’m mad  “I’m just on my period or something.”

He can stand his ground and be called “a man”. I stand my ground and i’m called a bitch

He’s told that being a man means being the strong one, being the man means being the one in control, being the man means being the one with the last word, but i’m told that being the woman means being the one to nurture and care, being the one who’s fairy tale ending is getting married to the prince.

Does this mean that i’m not allowed to be the strong one? Does this mean that i’m not allowed to be the one in control? Does this mean that i’m not allowed to have the last word?

Does this mean that it’s not his job to nurture and care? Does this mean that he is what completes a girl’s fairy tale ending?

He can do it. Why can’t I?

as well as a new piece, I spent the rest of the week making edits (which ended up basically we-writing) to my piece that I performed at Girl Be Heard Unplugged this past December. Here is the original piece, and below it is the edited piece:

ORIGINAL:

What I’m scared of is so not feminist of me. What I’m scared of isn’t that big of a deal to most people, but that’s because most people have had this. But when I tell people, they say: “Oh, big deal. You’re being dramatic.” Or “That’s a stupid reason to be upset.” But I say it is. And I say that I’m not being dramatic.                                                                                                                                                                    All of my friends, they have had boyfriends and “experiences”. But me? I’m just innocent old Bri. The one who is too awkward to find anyone to like her. The one who has the romantic experience of a toilet brush.                                                                                                                                                            

This scares me. It scares me that no one will ever look at me that way. I’m scared that no one will ever want to be with me. I’m scared that when prom comes around, all of my friends will have dates and I’ll be that person who goes alone and third wheels everyone.                                                                                       

 People always talk about slut shaming right? Well I think people should start talking about virgin shaming. Because it is a big deal to some girls. Girls are looked at differently for it. Girls are bullied for it, and that is just as bad as shaming a girl for the opposite reason.

NEW: 

It isn’t feminist of me, I will admit. It isn’t a big deal to most people because it was a rite of passage to them. So when I tell people what I hate most about myself they say “That’s no big deal.” And maybe they’re right, but it doesn’t make it suck any less.

All of my friends have had all these boyfriends and experiences and wild nights out. But me? I’m just innocent old Bri. The awkward one who you’re parents love because they know you won’t be up to any funny business when we hang out. The one who’s Friday nights include a box of Oreos and a Tim Burton movie.

Call me straight edge, call me a prude, and call me socially awkward. I’ve heard it all. And sure, it could be worse. I could be pregnant or on the streets or dying of cancer. I get that and I thank my lucky stars every day that I’m not. But every day, I’m looked at like I’m some porcelain doll. So I dress in all black and wear a lot of eyeliner and leather to try to mask that, but at the end of the day, I’m the one who comes home and cries because of my lack of a life.

Why is that? Why are we shamed if we have too much fun, and shamed if we don’t have enough? Why are we defined not by how many accomplishments we have made, but how many hookups we have had? Why are we slut shamed AND virgin shamed.

It’s what being a teenager is, I get it, but man it hurts sometimes. 

12/16/13-12/20/13

This was my schedule for this week:

Monday- Girl Be Heard Unplugged
Tuesday- Reflection
Wednesday- Dan Assignment
Thursday- None (That's on me, take off points accordingly)
Friday- Homecoming Concert



GBH Unplugged Reflection:

I haven't done many performances with GBH thus far, but out of the others I've done, this one required the most effort and work. Not only did I write and direct my piece, I also had to perform in it. Keep in mind, After last years mainstage, I devoted I would never act again. Little did I know what the next year held for me. My directing fellowship ends in 2014, but I am a company member of GBH until i'm 21, which means it is encouraged to perform.
I'm getting off topic here, but anyway, Performing means that I was once again faced with one of my biggest issues: My stage awkwardness. During our blocking rehearsal, I had to work with the fact that I have a very hard time looking natural on stage. What made this experience easier is that all of my pieces were real life examples of mine, so I wasn't playing a part. All I had to do was be Bri. However, i'm not even totally sure what that means yet.
I was faced with an issue 2 hours before the performance. The director decided it would be best to cut the entire first page of my script, which threw me as well as the other actors in my piece a little off. I wasn't expecting it last minute, mostly because my writing/casting process had been strictly me, however everything did work out in the end and there were no forgotten or misplaced lines.



I know that I need to find a new blog assignment now because the Girl Be Heard season is over. I will resume again at the end of January, which is also the end of the marking period. I wont have any performances to work for, so I will spend next week trying to find something new to work on.

12/2/13-12/6/13

This week, I had the goal of sending in my pieces for Girl Be Heard Unplugged, which is a show that Girl Be Heard has every season that features new work by the active company members. We were told to submit anything we have been working on over the season, and at least one piece would end up in the show. I decided to submit my three strongest pieces (or at least the pieces I felt were the strongest). They were already in draft form, so I spent this week making final cuts and edits. I have copied and pasted them here:



PIECE 1

(Lights up on 3 teenage girls and an older, middle aged woman. The girl in the middle, Briana, is sitting across from the middle aged woman. The two other girls to her sides, Bri and Ana, stand beside her.)

Doctor

 So Briana, do you want to tell me what's wrong?

Briana

 I'm depressed

Doctor

 And why's that?

Bri

Yeah why's that? You have so much to be grateful for! Loving parents, good friends, a bright future. What more could you ask for?

Ana

I can answer that.

Bri

Excuse me?

Ana

 I can tell you what more she could ask for.

Bri

Well now I'm curious. Shoot.

Ana

Well for one, she could ask for a treadmill. She's packing on more pounds. She can stop over exaggerating every little thing. She could get people to actually like her. Oh, and she can stop being a burden to everyone.

Bri

 What was that last part?

Ana

She's a burden

Bri

 No she's not.

Ana

Yeah she is. She has her parents spending all of this money on her SAT classes, trips into Manhattan, and this therapy session too. She bothers her friends with every little problem she has. They talk about her behind her back all the time

Bri

You’re a liar

Ana

How so?

Bri

 Her parents do those things because they love her, and her friends listen to her problems because they care. And you have no proof that they talk about her behind her back

Ana

 Well who wouldn't? She's a stress case.

Bri

No!

Ana

Yes!

Bri

 No!

Ana

 Yes!

Briana

Guys!

Doctor

 Briana, is everything okay?

Bri

Yes!

Ana

No!

Briana

 I... I don't know

Doctor

 Who are you talking to?

Briana

 Myself

Doctor

Do you do that a lot?

Briana

I guess

Ana

You guess? Give her a straight answer you idiot!

Bri

Stop that! Briana, tell her whatever you want.

Briana

 Yes. I do       

Doctor

When did this start?

Bri

Um, I really don’t know. Probably when puberty started.

Ana

Because that’s when she became disgusting

Bri

Stop that! She’s beautiful

Doctor

So middle school?

Briana

Um, yeah.

Doctor

And in your head, are you talking to anyone specific?

Briana

Yeah um, two of me.

Doctor

What do they say?

Briana

Um, one’s pretty good I guess. Talks me through problems, gets me through the day.

Doctor

And the other one?

Ana

 The other one?

Briana

 The other one is….

Ana

 Honest

Briana

Brutal

Doctor

Define brutal

Ana

I’ll define brutal for you. I tell it how it is. I don’t sugar coat things for you like little miss sunshine over here.

Bri

 Hey!

Ana

Does it hurt? Maybe, but you wouldn’t last a day without me. I protect you.

Briana

 She protects me.

Bri

 Don’t listen to her! She doesn’t protect you, she brings you down! She tells you lies to make you disgusted with yourself.

Briana

But she makes me feel disgusted with myself.

Doctor

 Can you give me an example?

Ana

Here’s one! Remember freshman year when you had a crush on Brett and he found out? He tried to let you down easy and all by saying he just saw you as a friend, but he was lying. There was a different reason.

Bri

 Briana don’t listen

Ana

 You don’t have to listen, but you already know the reason. You’re…

Bri

Don’t

Ana

 Fat. You’re a cow.

Bri

She isn’t fat. She’s slightly overweight and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Curves are good. They’re healthy

Ana

 Not when she can barely run two feet in front of her.

Doctor

Briana?

Briana

Huh?

Doctor

 I asked if you could give me an example of something she says to you.

Briana

 Um, things about myself that I already know I guess.

Doctor

Such as?

Briana

 I’m fat.

Bri

 See what you did!

Ana

 Hey she said she already knew.

Doctor

 Anything else?

Briana

 Well, I’m…

Briana & Ana

Ugly, awkward, boring, weird, stupid, unexperienced, oversensitive.

Bri

That’s it!

Ana

Way to interrupt. That’s rude.

Bri

 Really? I’m the rude one? You’re destroying her!

Ana

 I’m just repeating what she already knows.

Bri

 Yeah because you’ve been drilling these adjectives into her head for years! You’re horrible!

Ana

 Flattery won’t get you anywhere.

Doctor

And it’s only things like this?

Briana

 Um, not really.

Doctor

 What else?

Briana

 She talks me into things, out of things.

Doctor

 Such as?

Briana

She talked me out of going to a party today

Ana

 Hey don’t blame that on me. You were invited out of pity.

Bri

Liar. You just don’t want her to have fun.

Doctor

 And how did she do that?

Briana

Convinced me it was a bad idea. I’m not really a party person anyway

Ana

 You aren’t.

Bri

She could be!

Doctor

And why’s that?

Briana

 I’m…

Briana & Ana

 So awkward.

                                                            Bri

Again. Lies. She’s perfectly capable of socializing at a party.

                                                            Ana

But the question is, does she want to?

                                                            Bri

Do you want to?

                                                            Briana

Even if I wasn’t so awkward. I’m not really sure if I’d want to

                                                            Doctor

So it’s not just a self-confidence thing?

                                                            Briana
I don’t think so. I’m not a people person.

                                                            Ana

See?

                                                            Bri

Be quiet.

                                                            Doctor

I see. (Pause) Well we only have about 5 more minutes, but I’ll tell you what I think.

                                                            Ana

Lay it on her doc. She’s hopeless

                                                           

Bri

She’s not hopeless she just needs help. A lot of help.

                                                            Ana

Just face it. I’m not going anywhere.

                                                            Doctor

Well, you can’t have a little voice in your head always telling you the bad things about yourself. It just isn’t healthy.

                                                            Bri

See!

                                                            Doctor

But everyone has flaws. It’s just life.

                                                            Ana

See!

                                                            Doctor

So here’s what we’re going to do. You and I are going to work together so that those two voices in your head can become one. Okay?

                                                            Briana

How are we going to do that?

                                                            Doctor

That’s up to you.

                                                            Briana

I don’t know.

                                                            Doctor

You control what goes on in your head, even though it may be hard to believe.

                                                            Bri

It’s true.

                                                            Ana

Yeah, it is.

                                                            Bri

Did we just agree on something?

                                                            Ana

Shit... I think we did.

                                                            Briana

Whoa, you’re right.

                                                            Doctor

So can we do this?

                                                            Bri

Truce?

                                                            Ana

Yeah.. why not? Truce.

                                                                                    (Bri and Ana shake hands)

                                                            Briana

Yes.

END

END OF PLAY

PIECE 2

So Wrong, It’s Right

I want to be a feminist. A feminist doesn’t fan girl right? A feminist doesn’t wait outside a concert venue for hours just to get a glimpse of that cute guitar player. A feminist doesn’t scream on the top of her lungs for an encore. A feminist doesn’t do this. A feminist isn’t someone whose day can be made by listening to her favorite song. A feminist doesn’t measure her life in the amount of concerts she has attended. A feminist doesn’t fantasize about band members.

 A feminist doesn’t do this, but I do.       

What lifts my spirits isn’t drinking my favorite Starbucks drink. What puts me out of a depression isn’t curling up with a good book. I don’t live for an applause or an “I love you”. I live for my music. Music is what gets me out of bed in the morning. Music is the reason I’m still here. I save all of my money to see my favorite bands in concert. I have more band merch than friends. Warped Tour is my Christmas.                                                                                                                                  

 If being a feminist and having a slight obsession with something that brings me most of my happiness is wrong, well then I don’t want to be right.

PIECE 3

            

What I’m scared of is so not feminist of me. What I’m scared of isn’t that big of a deal to most people, but that’s because most people have had this. But when I tell people, they say: “Oh, big deal. You’re being dramatic.” Or “That’s a stupid reason to be upset.” But I say it is. And I say that I’m not being dramatic.    All of my friends, they have had boyfriends and “experiences”. But me? I’m just innocent old Bri. The one who is too awkward to find anyone to like her. The one who has the romantic experience of a toilet brush.                                                                                                                                                           This scares me. It scares me that no one will ever look at me that way. I’m scared that no one will ever want to be with me. I’m scared that when prom comes around, all of my friends will have dates and I’ll be that person who goes alone and third wheels everyone.                                                                                          People always talk about slut shaming right? Well I think people should start talking about virgin shaming. Because it is a big deal to some girls. Girls are looked at differently for it. Girls are bullied for it, and that is just as bad as shaming a girl for the opposite reason.

So as it turns out, pieces 1 and 2 were picked for the open mic. Which means I have to DUN DUN DUN perform. It's pretty cool because most new company members usually only have one piece in the show. The show is next monday, so I will spend this week memorizing my work completely and working on stage presence because lets face it, I don't really have any